Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Jack White is White Hot

White Stripes, Racontuers and Dead Weather frontman Jack White is thee mac daddy of musicians.  In addition to being one of the most skilled and talented guitarists on the planet, he also plays the drums, piano, mandolin, hammond organ, tambourine AND marimba!  His rock and roll roots are deeply entrenched in Southern Blues and 60's rock.  He has collaborated with Beck, The Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan and Loretta Lynn.  I own every White Stripe  and Racontuers album and they are for the most part, awesome from start to finish. 

I did not purchase the single he released with the very tedious Alicia Keys, however.  All I wanna' know is "WHY?!"  

Anywhoodle, the man has skills and was fortunate to be blessed with a very fit torso that looks like a stack o' dimes in his tight red, white or black tee shirt.  Have you seen his forearms? Jack White has a BODY, people and yes, once again it's hidden beneath a freaky exterior but I must urge you to get past that.  Yes, I know, Jack White's wardrobe would never fit the 9 to 5 set, but who fucking cares?  He is a perfect example of a man who CAN mock a bit of Jagger's and Richard's outrageous style and make it all his own.  The result is mind-blowingly sexy.

Have you seen this man play guitar?!  Christ, it's like receiving repeated electric shocks to the chocha, it's that amazing.  I get the chills when I watch the man perform.  Did I mention that he sings?  His voice is incredible, with a range that will surprise you- he has his own style of singing- grainy, slightly whiny but he hits the notes just right.  It's butter melting down a hot corn -on -the- cob- on- a -stick on a summer, southern night at the fair.  

And yes, his wardrobe is "off da' chain."  He went through a "Bolero" sort of stage a few years back, and his studded suits and tiny stache really got me all shook up.  And his muttonchop phase was just gorgeous- nothing like a hot guitar player who has a fine set of 'chops. Mmm!

Jack is no weakling, either- he did kick the shit out of that guy from the Von Bondies for God knows what.  Not that his behavior was acceptable or sexy, but what lass doesn't get a little tickleweenie from the idea of seeing a hot guy kick some ass in a bar fight?  Let's stop before I start talking about my ovaries again, cuz this is right where I'm headed.

Please enjoy the  above pics of the sexy seventh son.

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