Sunday, September 13, 2009

Jemaine Clement: Maori-Wowie!

New Zealander "part Maori, part European" Jemaine Clement is one-half of the adorable comedy duo "Flight of the Conchords." Since landing on our shores in '06, the Conchords have amassed an amazing hipster following from their HBO series and live concerts.

Whenever I meet a fellow FOTC fan, the first question I ask is: "Who is hotter- Jemaine or Brett?" Nine times outa' ten, people choose Brett MacKenzie. Okay, I understand that Brett's features are more of the "traditional" variety, what with the tiny nose, giant eyes and adorable little mouth. To me, however, Jemaine is the man of the hour.

How can you not see it?! He looks like the bastard hybrid of Mick Jagger and Benicio Del Toro! I cannot think of a combo any hotter, sans peanut butter and chocolate. He possesses many of the physical attributes that I like in my men- tall, slightly fucked-up teeth, big lips, the dark hair and light eyes combination and a dazzlingly-generous ass. He also dresses in that cute, hipster,(there's that fuckin' word again.) 70's slacker style that makes me poor heart just about burst. Oh, and then there's the fact that he is a musician. And comedian. And singer. And songwriter. Mi pinche corazon.

In their show, the Conchords come off as naive, but Jemaine's sex appeal is highly evident. I cannot think of many other man who can work a pair of tube socks and shorts like ol' Jemainey-he just .... smolders. Oh, and his darling little Kiwi accent is just heavenly.

If I was ever granted the divine opportunity to meet him, I am not sure I could control myself. I believe I would behave much like Mel, the Conchords' obessesive (and only) fan on the show and follow him everywhere. It's business time, indeed!

Of course, the show would not be nearly as fun without Brett MacKenzie. And no, I would not turn down the opportunity to partake in a Conchords "sandwich!"